cinco de SALSA

¡estoy mucho glad-o!

my online squeeze made the trek to visit me over the weekend for cinco de mayo and, as expected, we salsa’d till we could salsa no more.

i don’t know what it is about latin american dance, and salsa above all, that grabs my soul and moves my body. it’s like nothing else in the entire world.

over the years, i’ve made sure that anyone i may become involved with knows that, for me, not being able to salsa is a total deal-breaker, right alongside liking Neil Sedaka (or is it Jon Secada?), wearing pants, and not thinking the same way i do about everything.

i know what you’re probably thinking: how can you be catholic and dance, especially such a disgustingly sensual dance that both embraces and embodies the smoldering subtext of gross raw human sexuality involved in all dance?

to this, all i can say is SALSA!

in all seriousness, i understand the concerns and i really do share them. i should probably make clear that, when i am salsa dancing, i don’t actually come into physical contact with my partner, nor do we even make visual contact, since we keep to separate rooms when we dance together.

if you’re not careful, salsa, like all other forms of dancing, can be really quite dangerous to your soul.

even the most chaste photo of salsa dancing that Murphy could find on the internets was far too lascivious to post here.

so be careful, stay chaste, and SALSA till your hips move like cuban lightning! (cali’s ok too.)

¡vamonos, hermanos, y bailamos!

NB: to those who say that all forms of dancing are bad not simply because they involve human sexuality, which is always sinful, but rather because they involve music and the movement of bodies, i direct your attention to SAINT Pius V’s papal bull Caldi Caeli, which clearly anathematizes your position as belonging to the ALBIGENSIAN HERESY.


3 Responses to “cinco de SALSA”

  1. […] still looking for people to ordain? are they in union with pope michael? how do they feel about SALSA? what is their position on the ordination of hamsters as acolytes? (what? Murphy wants to […]

  2. […] of your opposition to laughing, but you seem to have a pretty negative attitude toward sex and human sexuality in general. what […]

  3. […] salsa-dancing internets girlfriend broke up with me via text-message this past weekend– something about feeling uncomfortable […]

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