7 quick takes: troll ii Q&A
although this is a fairly new blog, it’s been getting a lot of attention the past week or so, especially from people who don’t quite seem to understand where i’m coming from. no one seems to want to use the comments, so instead they’ve been emailing me at realcatholicsdontlaugh [at] gmail [dot] com.
these folks must have missed the “about me” page, because mostly they ask lots of questions about who i am and what i’m doing. although i always respond to these emails individually, i figured that, due to the similarity of so many of the questions, maybe it would be best to just repost and reply to them on the blog itself. so here goes…
1) is this blog a joke? i would think that on the basis of my email address alone you should know that i am gravely opposed to levity in all its forms. don’t get me wrong, there are many other things i’m opposed to as well, but jokesters especially get the righteous anger flowing. at a time when i’m having trouble finding the will to flame, i’m still more than ready to call out yahoos like Simcha Fisher and the Curt Jester.
2) what’s so bad about laughter and jokes, and why can’t catholics take part in them? sacred tradition has been abundantly clear that jokes and laughter have no place among REAL catholics, since these are tools of the devil in lowering our guard in the fight. as pope pius xi said, “laughter not only shows that you’re a modernist, but that you’re glad to be.” moreover, recent apparitions confirm that we are probably living in the time of the tribulation, and there’s nothing funny about the tribulation.
3) you sound depressed, and actually quite unbalanced; have you ever considered counseling? i find the tone of this question to be condescending and judgmental, and while i appreciate these qualities in myself, i don’t like it when they’re directed at me. let’s just say that Murphy and i have things under control at the moment, ok?
4) do you really have a pet hamster named Murphy, or is he just made up? Murphy exists, and he is perhaps the realest thing i know. Murphy is everything that one could ask for in a pet hamster, and so much more. if anything happened to him, i simply don’t know what i’d do.
5) so, how’s Murphy feeling? he’s still rather ill, i’m afraid. we’ll get the results of his bloodwork sometime tomorrow. thanks for asking; i’ll be sure to keep you posted.
6) how exactly can a hamster be racist? well, that’s one of the things we’re hoping to figure out. personally, i’m inclined to think that it’s just a side-effect of whatever else is going on, but we’ll see. if we need to get him counseling, then that’s exactly what we’ll do.
7) are you Simcha Fisher, or perhaps one of the voices that lives in her head? no, though i can only hope that my cries of condemnation and judgment might remain ringing in her ears, at least until she has the decency to stop wearing pants and put on something modest for once.
you can find other, less modest “quick takes” here.