tidings of great joy!

i’m sorry that i didn’t get a chance to post this earlier, but Murphy’s vet, Dr. Blubik, called late yesterday afternoon and said that the test results from Murphy’s bloodwork came back clean!!!

although he didn’t tell me at the time, Dr. Blubik had been worried on thursday that Murphy had developed something called “proliferative ileitis,” which is basically when a hamster just diarrheas himself to death.

(wait, what?!? that’s disgusting.)

thankfully, a little medical disinfectant, some rehydration, and the cessation of all fruit-eating have Murphy well on the road to recovery.

he’s still feeling a little lethargic, and acting quite bigoted, but i figure we’ll take things one step at a time…

…beginning with his raging addiction to Meg Ryan movies, which i unwisely indulged over the weekend.

Murphy cuddling with his stuffed animal friends, Mr. Fingerbottom and Boris, while watching “you’ve got mail” (again)

whatever. i’m just glad that things are getting back to “regular” around here.

now, on to cleaning his fetid habitat…

5 Responses to “tidings of great joy!”

  1. I am so disgusted to have stumbled upon this site where you are openly celebrating your disgusting homosexual relationship with your disgusting rodent. But I am not at all surprised – those who insist on traditional forms of worship are usually perverts with huge guilt complexes that cause them to be unkind and judgemental.

    I will probably have to burn my computer after seeing this filth. I will, however, in charity, offer you a bit of advise, because in the end I hope we both end up in heaven together (though, dear God! not at the same table!). If you must satisfy your disgusting sexual urges, you should consider using NFP which is a beautiful and natural alternative to whatever you are doing now. Many couples find that having a written record of all their sexual encounters, including notes about the viscosity of the bodily fluids involved, somehow brings them to conversion.

    I really hope that you do not plan on bringing any children into the world anytime soon. I cringe to think of what you would teach them, and what would happen to them in that unsightly yard of yours. And don’t you dare try to stalk me with your blogging-stalking programs. As I said, I am going to burn my computer and my television and microwave, too, just in case.

  2. I know I said I’d burn my computer, but all through my womens’ Bible study and my morning jog (I’m training for a marathon!) I kept thinking about you. I believe I was too harsh in my last comment.

    I realized you’re probably a middle child from one of those huge home education families who lived a very sheltered and unhappy life. Those middle children never get enough attention – their faces and clothes are always weird and dirty, their mothers are usually emotionally frazzled and closet alcoholics and very unhealthy and their fathers are cold, harsh, and fat. Those people who are all afraid of Harry Potter and the Kiss of Peace.

    When you finally got out in the world you must have been shocked, just shocked to wake up and realize what real life is like. You were scandalized by pants and prom dresses and 30 Rock. So of course with no understanding of Theology of the Body and no social skills, I mean, OF COURSE you would end up in a sorrid relationship with a gerbil.

    I will pray for you. I would further recommend you seek some counselling. Perhaps some restorative breastfeeding/attachment therapy could heal the deep wounds you must be carrying in your heart.

    • crass vituperations such as these will not be tolerated on this site. you’ve been advised.

      as for the relationship i share with Murphy, i can assure you it is nothing other than a profound, chaste friendship, which i could never imagine sullying with the vulgarities of human sexuality.

      also, i believe the word you were looking for is “sordid,” not “sorrid.”

      oh, and Murphy is a syrian golden hamster, not a “gerbil.”

  3. I’m so glad to see you’ve replied. I don’t usually spend a great deal of time on the computer because I worry about what all the plastics might do to my ovaries. I only use the computer to check the schedule for my women’s Bible study, and to keep track of my training program (for all the running I’ve been doing) and to chart my cycles on the Marquette Model site [http://nfp.marquette.edu/nfp_quick_inst_intro.php] and to sometimes keep up with friends on social networks. But this whole thing with you and your guinea pig really got me upset today and I’ve honestly checked the computer 12 times. I’ve been taking my temperature a little too often, too, and I’m telling you something is off! I think I’m right about the plastics.

    I didn’t mean to be crude. I thought quite honestly that you were insinuating all sorts of horrible things about your pet. I’m so glad to know you are as offended by the notion as I am. Have you read Theology of the Body? Our bodies really are beautiful and holy, and so is sexuality, though I sure don’t mind having a little laugh about sex now and then, you know?

    I’m so embarrassed that I wrote “sorrid” instead of “sordid.” I think I must have said it wrong in conversations! I’m glad I didn’t talk to any of my friends about you and your pig, because I would have said it, and who knows what they would have thought?

    Anyway, I’m glad you value chastity. I am concerned about a lot of things you’ve written though. Am I right about your family? You don’t have to tell me, because that would be embarrassing, but if I am you really should find out if a loving physical relationship (with a human!) would be healing for you. Best of luck!

  4. I’m not usually up this late because I need to go to bed and wake up at the same time to chart properly, but as I was driving to do some apostolate work late this afternoon I was remembering our fruitful exchange and I just couldn’t think of that long “v” word you used, and I wanted to cut it and paste it and look it up.

    I looked it up on dictionary.com. I don’t use the computer that often because if you look something up in a real dictionary you’re much more likely to remember it – but I needed to come here anyway to find “vituperations” and so there you have it! Your strong vocabulary again makes me think that you must have been home educated. Those kids are often so wordy, but they are also very odd. I’m not sure it’s worth getting into college at 13 if you don’t know how to make any friends once you’re there!

    Since I am up a little late I decided to have a healthy snack and read through some of your other posts and I really feel worried about you. I don’t want to be crude again, but your mouse’s problem and the area it’s occuring in really did make me think again that you may not be treating him properly. I know a lot about certain parts of the human body but not much about a rodent’s body, so I’m not going to act like I know everything. I just hope you are telling the truth.

    I really do want to help. One idea I had is that if you could chart for your pet you might be able to get more in touch with what is really going on. You could take his temperature every day (though not rectally, with its current condition) and write that on a chart. You could also put anything else he does on a chart. Charts are really useful and can be a great way to really get in touch with your health and your body (or your pet’s body!) and can be an occasion for conversion.

    I just finished off some neatly cut carrot sticks and I really should be getting to bed. I grow organic carrots in my garden, but they’re not ready yet this year, so I had to settle for some organic carrots from the grocery. I bet you and your pet both like carrots! I will pray for you, that you find peace and healing. You really seem very angry, but I guess I sounded angry when I first started writing, and I’m really not. Good night!

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