sedevacantist drinking game

“c’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?”

i may have alluded, a little while back, to a certain sedevacantist drinking game that i invented with my former best friend Turk Sorensen (of “recipes for disaster” fame), and i’ve since received several requests to spell the whole thing out.

keep in mind, this was originally designed for sedevacantist trolling and other online discussions (comboxes, forums, email exchanges, twitter, etc.), so changes will most likely need to be made if you’re attempting to adapt it to different environs.

also, as a necessary disclaimer: i want to be clear that this game is in no way intended to encourage drunkenness, or, for that matter, a “good time” or fun of any kind. it is merely a creative attempt to help pass the time. so without further ado, here we go…

  • getting “called on” about needing to have more charity and not criticize others: take one drink
  • accusation of being a “sedevacantist,” as if this were some sort of epithet: take one drink
  • futile attempt to defend or “explain away” the novelties and heresies of vatican ii and subsequent antipopes: take one drink
  • use of argumentum ad populum (“1 billion catholics can’t be wrong”): take one drink
  • mustering of St. Robert Bellermine or any of the Pope Piuses for novus ordo purposes: take one drink
  • use of “church fathers” for novus ordo purposes: take one drink (bonus: if quote is taken from protestant translation, criticize and give the original language: take two drinks)
  • supposedly authoritative quotation of ratzinger/”pope” benedict xvi: take one drink
  • supposedly authoritative quotation of “former” protestants (e.g., Scott Hahn): take one drink (bonus: counter back with a choice quote from real converts like Gerry Matatics: take two drinks)
  • accusation of being crazy and/or anti-semitic: take one drink
  • mention of Mel Gibson: take two drinks (you know, one for you and one for Mel)
  • threat of physical violence: take one drink
  • threat of eternal hellfire: take one drink
  • comparison with protestants and/or liberal “cafeteria catholics”: take one drink
  • request for explanation/definition of “modernism”: finish drink
  • expression of doubt about evils of modernism or freemasonry: facepalm, finish drink
  • expression of horror about mass being called “sacrifice”: finish drink
  • denigration of fatima: finish drink
  • getting banned from forum/blog/etc.: finish two drinks and sign on under a different name
finally, per the recommendation of my attorney, Shep Klingerman, i am supposed to advise participants not to drive or operate heavy machinery afterwards.

“i only kept taking more drinks because they kept calling me an anti-semite, i swear.”


9 Responses to “sedevacantist drinking game”

  1. Wow and holy crow. I just spent 15 minutes skimming over your entire body of work as displayed on this blog. I was nursing my 7 week old daughter at the time and I’m slightly worried that my milk may have become tainted with a sort of Voris virus, if you will, because of this intersection of blog reading and tending to motherly duties.
    If she begins to display a love of salsa (SALSA! ?), hamsters, and/or Mel Gibson, I shall immediately press charges against you for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
    From now on, the only nursing-approved reading material around here is Sex, Style and Substance.

  2. John Jhon Says:

    Mel Gibson is great and all, but more posts on your hamster, plox. Murphy really makes the blog.

    • great, now you’ve given him an even bigger head than he already had. Murphy is simply unbearable when he thinks he has a public to impress. i’m sure i won’t hear the end of this for a week.

  3. Troll, thanks for always standing up for the truth. And Murphy’s house is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. Ever.

    I thought you should know there’s talk that you aren’t “serious” and that this whole blog is some kind of “satire.” I don’t see how it could possibly be satire since I don’t get the “joke.”

    Can you do anything to dispel these vicious rumors?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s