mel gibson monday: the patriot

the fourth of july came and went last week, but Murphy and i were hardly able to get in an appropriately patriotic mood. i’m not sure if it was due to our continuing bitterness over the supreme court ruling, the fact that our entire neighborhood was still without power, or the annoyance at being disinvited to the annual pool party / fireworks / bbq / potluck extravaganza that my former best friend, turk sorensen, puts on every independence day. for all i know, it could have been from the frustration of losing the most recent episode of “the bachelorette” from our tivo and having to hear from the girl across the street that stupid Emily chose to get rid of Chris. (Murphy is convinced she will never find happiness, and frankly, i’m inclined to agree.)

next time, Chris, try

anyway, whatever our reasons were at the time, Murphy and i decided over the weekend that we needed to be better americans and get back to an especially independency state of mind, and we figured that the best way to do this was to honor our country with Mel Gibson’s most patriotic movie, the aptly titled “the patriot.”

maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s maybelline

on to the plot. Mel plays a slightly unstable combat veteran of the french and indian war who wants nothing other than to stay out of the fray of the revolutionary war and live peacefully on his south carolina plantation. after tragedy strikes, he changes his mind and decides to take on the british with a guerilla unity of militiamen that he has organized. needless to say, Mel kicks some serious red-coat backside, thus ensuring that the u. s. of a. would be the greatest nation on earth. Heath Ledger and Tom Wilkinson, among others, co-star.

“What you going to do when we come for you now, 
it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow.”

i don’t want to say anything more about the movie except that, if you haven’t seen it, you really need to. tonight. redbox doesn’t have it (no-good commies), but wal-mart does (heck yeah, america!), and so might your local video store.

thanks to the good peoples at the youtubes, here’s the trailer, to give you a better idea of what all the excitement is about:


does it get any more awesome than that? i submit that it does not.

in all seriousness, folks, i think that we might be able to turn this country around if we could just get Mel Gibson to run for president. or at least make a film where he plays someone running for president.

heck, he could use nothing but quotes from “the patriot” as his soundbites.

“An elected legislature can trample a man’s rights as easily as a king can.”

spoken like a true patriot.

“I’m a parent. I haven’t got the luxury of principles.”

well, i’m voting for him. Mel’s better than anyone else currently on the ballot.

yay america?


7 Responses to “mel gibson monday: the patriot”

  1. Pilgrim Says:

    I have been dreading this turn of developments. I warned you and Murphy earlier that you should not watch Mel Gibson’s comedy movies, but then you watched Ransom, and now you have seen this one, too. Luckily, you didn’t know it was a comedy so you didn’t laugh. This shows that you’re heart is incorrupted.

    • i don’t understand. Mel doesn’t make comedies because of his commitment to the true faith. what is there to fear?

      besides, how come *you* know so much about comedies?

      • Pilgrim Says:

        If you’ve got to know, it’s because I laughed when they burned down the church with all the people inside. Yes I did. And I laughed in Beyond Thunderdrome when those kids thought Mel would fly the plane and it was all stuck in the sand. And I laughed all the way through The Year of Living Dangerously.

        There I said it.

        Do not think that everyone can stay pure like you.

        So I never said I never sinned, but from my experience I can warn people about temptation, especially laughing at Mel Gibson’s comedies like those ones. Because the comedies can catch you unawares.

  2. Parmenides Says:

    Mel owns. Have you seen Get the Gringo? I’d like to but haven’t yet.

    • GtG is seven kinds awesome for sure. i scored a pirated copy and watched it with Murphy a little while back. that’s actually what kickstarted our whole “Mel Gibson mondays” habit.

  3. […] he is a sedevacantist, i’m still not voting for Mitt. maybe i’m foolish to think that Mel Gibson would make a good president, but you have to admit that it’s still a great idea compared to […]

  4. […] may recall that, over the summer, i had pledged my vote to Mel Gibson. obviously, it’s not that i thought he had a chance of winning, but simply that i liked his […]

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