i can has ur money plz?

all ur monies plz

though i normally avoid all things smacking of filthy lucre, i have recently come to the conclusion that it is probably my right, as a blogger, to receive cash money for services i render to you, my otherwise seemingly ungrateful readers.

what makes me so special? well, aside from the fact that i’m quite possibly the only real catholic left on earth (and hence should be followed and supported unquestioningly), my blog is very informative and interesting. it includes many pictures, and lots of links. and my important and correct opinions about stuff.

i don’t think you appreciate how awesome this blog really is

in short, it says things, and you read these things. and sometimes you even share these things with your friends on the facebooks, and then they read these things.

but what’s in it for me? there’s the fame and adulation, yes, and the undying hatred of my enemies, sure, but at the end of the day, i’m just a guy struggling to make ends meet.

i’ve noticed that many far less interesting (and less orthodox) bloggers seem to have a great deal of success “pointing to the open guitar case,” or “rattling the tin cup,” or “reminding readers weekly to donate donate donate,” so i figured, “why not me?”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgrD-8b53AM]

i don’t know how to add a “donate” button, or any button for that matter, to my sidebar, so i’m just doing to include it below.

in all seriousness, please help. i’ve got bills to pay and ramen to buy and a vitally important cruise retreat to go on this upcoming March:

hopefully Michael Voris will stay fully clothed. what?



thanks, in advance, for all the financial help that i know you will provide. i will remember you all when i’m drinking a mai tai and showing off my Vorinator tattoo pool-side.

(update after the jump…)


some perhaps more jealous folks seem to be rather suspicious of this whole “retreat at sea” thing, but i think i can assure you that, on the basis of this leaked daily schedule, it will actually be quite rigorous, with only the smallest amount of personal enjoyment mixed in. as for me, i just hope they squeeze in some time for conspiracy-theory swapping, traddie or otherwise.

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 1.09.38 AM
seems legit to me.


19 Responses to “i can has ur money plz?”

  1. Your sources are incorrect. Alex Jones is doing the nightly comedy routine. Don’t tell anybody but Alex and Michael are twins separated at birth. Michael feels obliged to toss Alex ‘a bone’ and share his fame and fortune.

  2. archibald Says:

    Whales, very good!

  3. They decided against including Latin dancing at the ship’s discotheque? I bet that was hard decision. On the one hand you have blatant lascivity, decolletage of women more attractive than your wife, and maneuvers difficult to perform with artificial hips, which are all bad. But on the other hand … you have Latin, which is good and covers a myriad of sins. I’m guessing Fr. Z was for it, Voris was against it, and Voris had to play the “my apostolate is headlining this thing”-card to get it off the schedule. The cruise is still worthwhile though. I’d probably pay $1,083.89 just to watch E. Michael Jones sit on the promenade deck with a glass of Canadian Mist and heckle the Jewish retirees out for their 5:00, apres-dinner stroll.

    I donated $200 to cover the cost of on-ship Internet access, so you can send dispatches to those of us not fortunate enough to be able to join you. If you can’t promise to do this, I’m going to need instructions on how to undonate. (Is that even possible? Can you cancel a paypal check?)

  4. Finally, my intellectual equal! What took you so long?


    Question: Can they allow a Latin Mass but no Latin dancing? Discuss.


  5. There are so many people here now!

    I’m sure we can all put away our difference and be nice friends.

    • Antonin Strombauch Says:

      Why, so we can “dialogue” with one another?

      (*phff* N.O. progressive…)

      • I think it doesn’t mean that we have to dialogue with each other. It only means that we have to hold hands for the Lord’s Prayer and hug each other for the sign of peace.

    • I know, this blog is all the sudden super popular. I can already feel the alienation and ennui seeping in. If there’s one thing troll has taught us it’s that excellence and orthodoxy aren’t found in crowds. I know those of us attracted to this blog probably aren’t big on praying for others, but we should do so now. Lord, help troll handle the crush of celebrity and help keep most people away from this blog. Ad hoc ceteris parabus, amen.

  6. […] on the one hand, i’ve been saying for years that Michael Voris would be a great film star. he’s such a natural, and that hair! on the other hand, i’m legitimately disturbed that Voris now seems willing to have dealings with an associate of the absolutely awful Patheos, and it is making me seriously reconsider my planned lenten cruise retreat. […]

  7. […] i should be, anyway. i don’t need to tell you how awesome this blog is, or how much you should probably donate to keep operations here afloat (hint: till it hurts so much that Mark Shea starts protesting it as […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s