Archive for blogging

a global conspiracy or just low blood sugar?

Posted in blogging, modesty, pope michael with tags , , , on June 3, 2012 by troll ii

or both!?!

the events of this past week have gotten me thinking a lot about how some people can *feel* sometimes like it’s them against the world, like they’re the only ones who are in the know or who really “get” what’s going on.

obviously, i’ve found myself in that position many a time over the course of my adult life, the only difference being that for me it was more than a feeling, it was actually reflective of reality.

anyhow, my postings from the past week attracted the attention of an old internets acquaintance who shall go nameless, whom i used to debate on several chat forums back in ’04-’05, before she had to be institutionalized for a time.

i thought she might be writing to argue about the whole pope michael fiasco, but all she wanted to talk about were three things:

  1. that her pet canary, Felix, was probably invited to the bilderberg meeting going on in VA, and how she thinks he might be secretly wealthy and/or influential;
  2. how she’s pretty sure anti-pope benedict xvi plagiarized sections of his encyclical “deus caritas est” from the Phil Collins song “groovy kind of love,” and
  3. that the re-election of Barack Obama will mark the beginning of sharia in the US.

concerning this last matter, she even sent a picture she had created to make her point:

prophecy of a future bestseller? or evidence that somebody needs a snickers?

i responded that a muslim takeover might not be that bad, since not only would it finally unmask all the novus ordo “catholics” for the fakes they are, but it might also ensure some real standards of modesty.

also, i told her to get back on her meds.

she didn’t write back.


marathon men (and women)

Posted in anger, blogging, real catholic with tags , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2012 by troll ii

Tobias: “where does the hate come from, bill?”
White Power Bill: “the jews, i guess.”
–tv drama arrested development

when you’re right as often as i am, and others are wrong as often as they are, you find that you can never assume that there is anyone who will be right even most of the time. in fact, the best of the best get stuff wrong, and that’s why i’m here, to correct them.

i get so many questions about whether this is ok, or whether that is heretical, and i’d love to be able to point people in someone else’s direction and just say, “go ask him (or her), because they get it and you can trust them.” but i can’t do that. all i can say is, “trust no one. except me, of course. because i’m right. but i’m the only one.”

you see, then, that being right all the time isn’t just emotionally and psychologically draining because you have to correct all the other people who are so wrong, but it’s also draining because of how isolated you feel, and because of how many people you have to give right answers to, and because of how much motivation you have to cultivate to have the energy to do this, day in and day out.

maybe now you understand why i’m feeling so burned out.

although i cannot commend all the content of what you find in their writings, i want to take a few minutes and acknowledge the men and women who have been and are (now more than ever before) an inspiration to me to keep cultivating my self-righteous rage and my disgust at everything that doesn’t look or sound quite right to me. i must confess that these fine writers have, at times, been on the receiving end of my own verbal assaults. i do not apologize for this, but confess it to make clear how great-souled these heroes truly are: they have fought with me, and they have been vanquished, but they have arisen to become indignant and malign others with a resiliency that fills me with awe.

as i have found the hard way, the race is long, and is in fact never over. as long as there are people on this earth, there will be people who are wrong, people who stand in need of correction. ours is a battle without end, a war without hope of victory, a raging of the night that will nonetheless never go quietly.

to you, brothers and sisters in self-appointed judgment, i give my gratitude and admiration:

Steve Kellmeyer, you were the first to show me that you can always find fault with someone about something.

Randy Engel, you are a constant reminder that we are to hate both the sinner and the sin.

The Brothers Dimond, shine on!

Bob Sungenis, never forget that you are my sun: bright, warm, and not at all at the center of my universe.

honorable mention:

Dale and the gang at New Oxford Review, you’ve done better in the past, but you’re still dear to my heart, and i wish you a quick recovery.

there are, to be sure, many many more that are deserving of thanks. but it is to these few, these happy few, that i have often turned for inspiration when i’m feeling like i simply don’t have anything left to spew.

so to you few, i thank you.

time to admit it: i need help

Posted in blogging, fake "catholics", pope michael, real catholic with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2012 by troll ii

the other day i was on catholic answers forums, trying to muster up the will to provoke a bunch of pseduo-catholics into a dispute over the vile and degrading practice of nfp, when i noticed that an old post of mine had finally gotten a response, and a good one at that.

this response was actually so good that i didn’t know what to say in reply. it was from a young, married mother of two, and she had so completely dismantled my false-flag lambasting of real Catholic nfp critics that i was, literally, speechless. she even linked to his holiness, pope michael i.

i thought to myself, “sweet cardinal siri, this lady is the real deal!” but when i clicked on her profile i realized i was looking at a ghost account that *i* had created months ago, as part of a separate project to “raise concern” over the orthodoxy, and sexuality, of a certain apologist whose name rhymes with “schmim schmaples.”

i sat there with mouth agape, aghast that i had fallen prey to the intricate interweb of trolling deceit woven by myself. i truly was, and am, a formidable opponent.

the fact is that i’m probably in too deep. i’ve been trolling for so long, hiding behind so many fake personae, using so many different proxy servers, and ghosting so many legitimate commenters’ ip addresses, that sometimes i can’t remember what my own positions are, or even who i am. Murphy says this kind of talk just doesn’t sound like me, and maybe he’s right, but how can i know for sure?

they say that the first step toward recovery is admitting you a have a problem.

well then, non-exhaustively and in no particular order: My name is…

  1. Troll II
  2. Mark Shea’s Boyfriend     
  3. Mantilla Vs. Mothra    
  4. ModestyPolice
  5. FatiMom
  6. Christopher West’s Love Child
  7. FoxxyOrthodoxxy   
  8. TheBlackSheepDogAteMyHomework
  9. ChristendomAlum97
  10. DontQuitYourOpusDayJob
  11. Simcha’s Trousers    
  12. Ora Pro Voris
  13. Scott Hahn’s Colon    
  14. The Wandererer
  15. NFP-ness
  16. FrGrunerFanBoy
  17. Colleen Hammond’s Underoos   
  18. Ha!MedjuLook
  19. SaintStrongBad
  20. SungenisGroupie4Life   
  21. Justine Schmiesing
  22. Pro Paucis
  23. AntiDentite08
  24. FSSPFratBoy81
  25. EMichaelJonesforPresident 
  26. Fr. Fessio’s Eyebrows
  27. FrZisMyHomeboy 
  28. FlamingCharismatic04
  29. SedeVacantisaurusRex
  30. PhatimaChick99
  31. Mel Gibson Was Right
  32. Matthew Kelly   
  33. DimondBrosBeforeHoes
  34. EWTNSoldMyMomsWheelchair
  35. WeigelNeoConJob
  36. VortexSwordofTruth11 

… and i’m a trollaholic.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not apologizing. i’m simply asking that you REAL Catholics out there pray for me that i would know what to do.

mein kampf?

Posted in blogging, laughter, real catholic with tags , , , , , on May 9, 2012 by troll ii

in an attempt to motivate me, wordpress has taken to providing choice quotes about writing in the margins of my blog dashboard.

the most recent nugget of nonsense came from mexican writer and notoriously secretive opus dei operative carlos fuentes, who apparently said that “writing is a struggle against silence.”

hmm, i guess my writing is a struggle against the curt jester.

real catholics don’t laugh.

it’s just that simple.

as pope SAINT pius x famously and correctly said, “laughter is for the modernists.”

sacred tradition has it that pope SAINT pius x never once cracked a smile.

n is for neville, who died of ennui

Posted in blogging, real catholic with tags , , , , , , on May 9, 2012 by troll ii

so bored, so listless

as you’ve probably noticed, i’ve been lying low, relatively speaking, for the past few weeks or so, sticking to the blog and mostly avoiding my usual haunts on the internets, those comboxes and forums where i normally wreak my special brand of REAL catholic havoc. i guess i just haven’t felt up to it.

i don’t know if it’s a vitamin deficiency or a seasonal thing, or maybe the new meds, but i simply haven’t been finding much joy in trolling and picking fights with fake catholics. going SALSA dancing, yes; telling people how wrong they are, not so much.

how bad have things gotten, you ask? well, i’ll tell you.

just last week, mark shea pretty much came out of the closet right there in the middle of the internets [WARNING: link not for the weak of stomach or the closed of mind], and I COULDN’T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO COMMENT! confronted with a classic modernist amchurch call to approach sinners with “love” and “compassion” and “humility,” i not only didn’t take the bait, but i didn’t even feel like asserting mark’s obvious homosexuality.

six months ago i would have taken genuine pleasure in saying this is (probably) mark shea

what gives? i’ve been spreading rumors of mark shea’s deviant sexuality and beliefs since the days when he had just one chin. always with the jokes and the puns and the prayer and “balanced takes” and the “principled stands” against torture and capitalism, and the laughter, my sakes, the laughter. i hate mark shea more than mark shea hates weight watchers, and yet there i was, numb and apathetic in what should have been the hour of my greatest victory, when one of my many nemeses was unmasked as the fake “catholic” modernist huckster he is.

it just makes you wonder, where’s all the righteous anger when you really need it?

Murphy says that i probably need more sunshine, and that I should get out of the basement for a while to clear my head and get my priorities in order.

i don’t know.

thinking about it now, i guess i started this site as an alternative outlet to all my other flaming and pontificating, and i’m just hoping that having this outlet helps me get my groove back. we’ll see.

misrepresenting myself: a manifesto

Posted in blogging, fake "catholics", real catholic with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2012 by troll ii

my good friend Turk Sorensen happened to see the “interesting” (and rather uncharitable) exchange on the facebook that i posted about yesterday, and he advised me that i need to be careful about two things.

1) now that i am again a recognized scourge of pseudo-“catholics” everywhere on the internets, i need to remember to stay grounded and remember where i come from and why i do what i do. i can’t allow how right i am about the faith to dictate who i am as a person, because i’m more than simply an opinionated guy who’s zealous for defending the true faith against all the fakers and liars out there. i’ve hurt a lot of people in the past by only being willing to talk about how wrong they are about religion, when actually there were plenty of other things wrong with them that i could have focused on and tried to correct. i’m right about so much more than just the true catholic faith, and i need to keep in mind how many other areas of life people are wrong on.

2) i need to be discreet in what i say and who i say it to. see, it’s one thing to inflammatorily comment on other people’s blogs, where the potential readers are probably lost in heretical error and in need of being smashed in the face with a cinder block of harsh truth (along with a well crafted ad hominem or two). it’s another thing entirely when it’s my own blog, where visitors are hopefully truly seeking to know how they can think and act like me. thus, i’m sorry to anyone for whom i may have been a stumbling block by linking to the vile pieces by Simcha Fisher (but please believe me when i say i could have linked to much worse). i can’t promise that i won’t at some point link to things that need to be called out and condemned (*cough, cough* Mark Shea, Christopher West, Opus Dei, Scott Hahn, “Fr.” Robert Barron, all of Patheos, etc. etc. etc.), but i will at least give due warning before doing so.

as i see it, i need to be careful about not misrepresenting myself. those opposed to the truth will try to shout me down and crucify me and say that i’m just a crackpot SSPXer on meth (false, false, and false, btw), but i will hold my ground and shout the truth even louder and maybe even let some flecks of spit come out too.

i may have some things to say that are hard for some of you to hear, but you know what, i’m gonna say them anyway. and i’m determined to undermine the mainstream “catholic” media line about how the true faithful are traddie anti-semite wackjobs by giving you a little bit more of the full picture of who i am, of who we all are: completely normal salsa-dancing, hamster-loving, basement-living people who are right about everything you are wrong about.

pax vobiscum.

the new face of real orthodoxy: Murphy, hungry for hamster food, and the TRUTH

just getting started

Posted in blogging with tags on April 28, 2012 by troll ii

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i can’t wait to see where the internets will take me.

i’m so curious.

are you?