Archive for e michael jones

oh great, awards season… (UPDATED)

Posted in blogging, real catholic with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 15, 2013 by troll ii

three trophies for the cheat!

last night it was the golden globes (i watched “Downton” instead, of course).

we’ll have the grammys in a couple of weeks (shouldn’t that end in “-ies”?).

then come the oscars. whoopie.

oh and finally, come late march, we’ll have the “2013 About.com Catholicism Reader’s Choice Awards.” from what i understand, it’s not an awards show per se. but that doesn’t mean i won’t be dressing up.

why, you ask? well because i’ve been nominated for “Best Catholic Blog” (by none other than my best friend Turk Sorensen), and seeing as how mine is the only REALcatholic™ blog on the interwebs, i figure i’m a shoe-in, right?

well i should be, anyway. i don’t need to tell you how awesome this blog is, or how much you should probably donate to keep operations here afloat (hint: till it hurts so much that Mark Shea starts protesting it as a form of torture).

.

.

no, i know i won’t win. those who tell the truth never do. instead we suffer in silence and obscurity. IN SILENCE AND OBSCURITY I TELL YOU!!!

back when i first started this thing, when i was still seeing you-know-who, i thought that maybe i’d be able to rig some sort of upset and score a 2012 Cannonball Catholic Blog Award. alas, she ditched the awards altogether this past year, probably just to spite me.

figures.

maybe if i had more colorful backgrounds or lots of sweet animated .gifs, then i’d get the attention and acclaim that i deserve…

UPDATE

after a great deal of thought, i’ve decided to start my own awards for best REALcatholic™ blog. the award badge, inspired by the above-liked sites, looks something like this:

i know, pretty sweet, right?

you needn’t worry about nominations or voting, since there’s really only one blog in contention at the moment. i suppose that i’d be willing to consider additional entries (e.g., were E. Michael Jones or Michael Voris to start blogging regularly), but for the time being, i’m it, folks.

stay angry, my friends.

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interview with “bad catholic”

Posted in blogging, fake "catholics", real catholic with tags , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2012 by troll ii

“I told him, ‘Listen, I read “Home Sweet Rome,” what more proof could you need that I’m a Catholic?'”

no, not him. this one:

“You might remember me from ‘Harry Potter.'”

remember way back when, when i was trying to interview/profile Mark Shea for Brandon Vogt’s “support a [fake] catholic speaker” month, and he wouldn’t let me, and i went on strike, and no one knew because i didn’t actually tell anyone i was going on strike until after the fact?

well then, it turns out that Brandon decided to give the assignment to none other than Mark’s fellow Patheos blogger Marc Barnes, a.k.a. “Bad Catholic,” formerly known as “Baby G.K.,” and before that, “Fetus et Ratio.”

i was curious to learn more about this “Bad Catholic,” so i contacted him. and despite his insanely busy schedule, Marc graciously accepted my request for me to interview him (provided that it was ok with his parents, which it was). our exchange follows after the jump.

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e. michael jones’ worst nightmare

Posted in jews, Murphy with tags , , , , on August 14, 2012 by troll ii

seriously, this sort of thing keeps him up nights.

cold sweats and everything, for reals.

me too, truth be told.

probably because my maternal grandfather’s name was Mousekewitz.

come to think of it, that was Murphy’s maternal grandfather‘s name, too.

“yes, but my Bubbe was a shikse, doesn’t that count for something?”

i suppose this goes a long way toward explaining Murhpy’s discomfort with Mel Gibson mondays. ah well.

it’s the jews

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on June 29, 2012 by troll ii

in honor of E. Michael Jonesreal birthday (wikipedia is NOT to be trusted, peoples), i’ve posted for the education and enjoyment of all a brief clip from the 2001 drama “bubble boy.”

it’s no “le juif suss,” but i think it serves as a helpful reminder of what we’re are up against, and personally, it gives me hope that if the truth about the jews can even come out of hollywood, then anything’s possible.

many happy returns on the day, E.!

p.s. Bob, Mel, and Mahmoud send their best wishes, too.

time to admit it: i need help

Posted in blogging, fake "catholics", pope michael, real catholic with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2012 by troll ii

the other day i was on catholic answers forums, trying to muster up the will to provoke a bunch of pseduo-catholics into a dispute over the vile and degrading practice of nfp, when i noticed that an old post of mine had finally gotten a response, and a good one at that.

this response was actually so good that i didn’t know what to say in reply. it was from a young, married mother of two, and she had so completely dismantled my false-flag lambasting of real Catholic nfp critics that i was, literally, speechless. she even linked to his holiness, pope michael i.

i thought to myself, “sweet cardinal siri, this lady is the real deal!” but when i clicked on her profile i realized i was looking at a ghost account that *i* had created months ago, as part of a separate project to “raise concern” over the orthodoxy, and sexuality, of a certain apologist whose name rhymes with “schmim schmaples.”

i sat there with mouth agape, aghast that i had fallen prey to the intricate interweb of trolling deceit woven by myself. i truly was, and am, a formidable opponent.

the fact is that i’m probably in too deep. i’ve been trolling for so long, hiding behind so many fake personae, using so many different proxy servers, and ghosting so many legitimate commenters’ ip addresses, that sometimes i can’t remember what my own positions are, or even who i am. Murphy says this kind of talk just doesn’t sound like me, and maybe he’s right, but how can i know for sure?

they say that the first step toward recovery is admitting you a have a problem.

well then, non-exhaustively and in no particular order: My name is…

  1. Troll II
  2. Mark Shea’s Boyfriend     
  3. Mantilla Vs. Mothra    
  4. ModestyPolice
  5. FatiMom
  6. Christopher West’s Love Child
  7. FoxxyOrthodoxxy   
  8. TheBlackSheepDogAteMyHomework
  9. ChristendomAlum97
  10. DontQuitYourOpusDayJob
  11. Simcha’s Trousers    
  12. Ora Pro Voris
  13. Scott Hahn’s Colon    
  14. The Wandererer
  15. NFP-ness
  16. FrGrunerFanBoy
  17. Colleen Hammond’s Underoos   
  18. Ha!MedjuLook
  19. SaintStrongBad
  20. SungenisGroupie4Life   
  21. Justine Schmiesing
  22. Pro Paucis
  23. AntiDentite08
  24. FSSPFratBoy81
  25. EMichaelJonesforPresident 
  26. Fr. Fessio’s Eyebrows
  27. FrZisMyHomeboy 
  28. FlamingCharismatic04
  29. SedeVacantisaurusRex
  30. PhatimaChick99
  31. Mel Gibson Was Right
  32. Matthew Kelly   
  33. DimondBrosBeforeHoes
  34. EWTNSoldMyMomsWheelchair
  35. WeigelNeoConJob
  36. VortexSwordofTruth11 

… and i’m a trollaholic.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not apologizing. i’m simply asking that you REAL Catholics out there pray for me that i would know what to do.