7 quick takes: the quickest ever

oh look, they’re dressed just like the girls at your local novus ordo mass.

well, it’s time for the olympics to start up, which means… absolutely nothing. despite what the novus ordo “pope” says about the games, they are not the greatest thing to happen to the  world since the council of trent. i don’t have time for these shenanigans, nor do i have time to be my usual wordy self, so without further ado, i present the quickest quick takes ever.

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1. i spoke too soon. Curt’s back to being funny again. too bad… for his soul!

on the bright side, at least things are back to normal

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2. i thought i saw Bishop Williamson on the treadmill at the 24-hour fitness location across from my grocery store. honestly, he looked pretty good for someone who eats bacon for every meal. but it turned out not to be him after all.

“No comment. I only say inflammatory things when there are cameras rolling.”

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3. i keep receiving confusing emails from The Jerk, who is seeming increasingly unstable. death threats one minute and sobbing apologies the next. what is wrong with this guy? oh, and is now it a “thing” to offer to wash a guy’s feet as a sign of friendship? i don’t get it.

ugh, he looks like something out of “the omen”

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4. Murphy has started taking a prescription medication for his mood swings, and he is doing much better. maybe The Jerk should borrow some, it might do him some good.

wait, this can’t be right

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5. my neighbor Lou Genovese invited me over to his house to watch a show called “sons of anarchy,” which he said i’d love because it was a lot like “downton abbey.” as it turns out, it is NOTHING like “downton,” and within the first four minutes of the episode, it was so dark and violent that i actually lost control of my bowels. (hmm, perhaps i should keep a dvd handy for when things get really backed up…)

they didn’t even have british accents, for clem’s sake!

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6. i had my first visit to chick-fil-a yesterday with my best friend Turk Sorensen, who was trying to stay there all day to show his support for something or other. Turk’s a total fast food junkie, so he was happier than a pig in dirt, but i wasn’t so sure about the sanitariness of their cooking methods. also, while i was in line, someone behind me started talking about going to mass that morning and when i launched into them about how there hasn’t been a valid mass in the state of iowa in more than 27 years they looked as if they were about to burst into tears. i took that as a good sign and continued my rant until they began to cry and ran off to the bathroom. all in all, a job well done.

too much chick-fil, eh?

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7. i am holding a conference on “sacred architecture and why every church that has been built since vatican ii is ugly” in my basement apartment on the evening of august 2. please email me at realcatholicsdontlaugh [at] gmail [dot] com for more information.

neat, they put in a new industrial waste facility

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oh yeah, and for some takes from folks who maybe aren’t so quick, mouse it here.